The legend of Thiberius Beekiller: A Revival
Once upon a time in the land of bees lived a man called Thiberius Beekiller who once decided that the bees must die. So he called Tiberius AKA Finger Lickin' Ass Kickin' Gum but the bees were not pleased so they summoned The Nether Bee from the depths Who was from Columbus Ohio. Unfortunately, he had a migraine, so he removed his brain dying instantly. However, the bees were bees, obviously. Khaq took the brain to curch, but the naked priest was being arrested for sacrificing the magical Lemon-Flavored Goldfish of God. Khad then erupted putrid diarrhea, which what usually happened is just as gross, but now Bah said the sheep “Me bad grammar.” “I'm also Tarzan.” But I digress. Where was I? What's the deal with the bees? The deal was nunna yo beeswax. This enraged Tiberius. He decided to get the priest but not before dinner, for Tiberius was hungry. So he feasted upon the elongated and wonderfully crispy bacon-wrapped fried kielbasa. Then the bees decended upon him which made Thiberius feel strangely aroused as long stingers were his true reason for becoming Cher every night. George Washington was giving birth to a cherry tree and Abraham Lincoln. Then Stephen Colbert and paramore twitter boobs made sweet paramore twitter boobs and sent Thiberius to the mall to fight Nazis. The Cinnabon Nazis had very large bees for hands because the robots could break dance and sing Friday making hands unnecessary. Thiberius was exausted “This is nonsense” stated the large Pterodactyl named Bob. Bob's medication had been laced with placebos, so he angrily ransacked the nearest pothead, for his Alabama kush. Just then, a zombie Peter Jackson bit Bob. Ferociously, Bob retaliated with a splash attack and another splash. It's Super Effective! After Bob won, he received -P-93,000 ...which is a butt hair plucker Thiberius borrowed it for sexual uses. Suddenly remembering beekilling, Tiberius leapt into a bee parade and killed bees. He then became a God of all bees. Oh and then he ate the bees, drank a coke, and made love... To the bees. Once satisfied, he made a beeline to the nearest honey badger burrow for the sake that the Japs gave to him for his new anime, “Super Happy Funtime Robot High School” which surprisingly was not a sucess. Tired, Thiberius then deployed a rotating bee toothbrush, that fixed his name. Now his name was Super Thiberius Awesome Beekiller. Then he did stuff such as travelling and other stuff. Then, evil bees attacked Thiberius with exceptionally long pole jumping abilities that were as fast as Tiberius's brother Nic Cage, who died in a schoolgirl uniform. The pretty pink pony tried to assassinate Fidel Castro, however his pony immunity didn't save him and the pony became Castro. So Thiberius smoked pot with Coffee Ninja and suddenly hornets were wealthy aristocrats. They hired Tiberius and the bees to be housekeepers in a barn on the moon where alien bees, yes alien bees had stolen gold to buy some alien Honeycomb cereal. The space bees proceeded to steal a kiss from Tiberius's firstborn daughter, the beautiful Princess Thiberia Beekiller. So they imploded afterwards causing an awkward silence, which sounded like silence. Suddenly the moon began to transform into a harvest moon and suddenly Thiberius opened a farm which suddenly flourished. Then he sat on a bee, but not just a normal bee but a polyvinylchloridated which is obviously not a thing. Thiberia approached him, then prostrated herself to present a fire-breathing dragon. “What the hell are you thinking?” yelled a cop who was actually sexually assaulting a prius. Suddenly Thiberius stuffed the dragon with her daughter Girly Dragon, who did not enjoy hairy mountain men. Oh Fate, why are you Fate? Fate laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. Then Fate cried because Thiberius bit him with cancer teeth. Fate caught cancer, or did she? Yes, she did. In the dungeon the enemy hornets and chocolate coronets and fish fillets danced merrily with the bees, oh the gay dancing. Homosexual dancing, too. Thiberius was displeased. Thiberius didn't approve in the slightest. He was so angered that he summoned bigger fish to fry. Then he threw a dyslexic peanut at half past non. “Not the bees!” The bees cried honey tears, which revived Lenin. He knew what he wanted in life: to be a famous child molester. The next day a busty woman and the bees all died violently. And child molesters invested in stocks that floundered miserably so the jumped around in moonbounces on the moon which mooning people. It kicked ass. Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter didn't do anything. Except for that “getting mooned” thing so Tiberius decided to give them something special: his giant inflatable giant bee balloon. This giant inflatable giant Bee ballon. This was pretty dumb of him, but he scratched his bee balloon and licked a lollipop to win the heart of all cards from Yugi. “Screw the rules!” said Seto Kaiba, being incredibly generic. Then he exploded in a big Kaibaplosion, which destroyed lots of bees. Tiberius mourned the starving Nigerian children. But not much. Because zombie bees mimicked Ronald Reagan's oratory skills and his amnesia. Urine and weiner poopie are messy things. What is this pie, she asked? “This pie holds the key to the city,” said The Mayor of Beekillingsville, capital of Beekillinstate, north of Canada. But where are bees killed? Experts can't seem to understand anything relating to bees, so they make SSBM tournaments instead. T'was Adventure Time but that ended. A challenger appeared it was Bee-gglypuff but it failed. This is going nowhere, so the Twilight fan club commited mass suicide; no one cared. Then everyone died. Including the bees. Tiberius was happy, And also dead. You died too. And Kelly Clarkson. But Magic Johnson revived his followers including Justin Beeber, who chocked on Magic Johnson's johnson. Later, a drunk skunk dunked a punk, but she thunk, “Whadda hunk!!!”, “That shrunk monk!” Wait wait wait wait... wait wait. I'mma letchu finish, but Tiberius Beekiller has no “h”. Turns out “Thiberius” was an imposter! And “Tiberius” was really King Bee-hemoth with a penis. The final battle between them was above a pit full of icecream and the AIDS, a punk band made of bees. Bee Band-AIDS. Anyways Tiberius fought using a q-tip and Thiberius used Beelerius, the greatest Bee weapon ever. Tiberius won after using a broadaxe with the q-tip and found Waldo. Who's actually Wally, but that's OK. Now Tiberius could produce the musical about a group of heavy metal new wave ska drum 'n bass alligators who also liked killing bees. Who doesn't honestly? Evil Mailman didn't. Or Karl Malone. But Link killed them, so now everyone kills bees with their flamethrowers; that throw bees that breathe fire. Anyway, after winning, Tiberius slept with Thiberius' illegitimate daughter and it was the worst sex she ever had since f***ing Bono. So pirates attacked Thiberius' hometown, Dallas but Tiberius wouldn't do anything because he's too cool and didn't care. But when the pirates stole Tiberius' big ass ass, Thiberius reconsidered his giant commandeered assests. And instead he was dead. Tiberius baked a cake that smelled of mods, for the smell of semen from their closets was smelly. The end of story. This is not continuing soon, bye. Til' next time... Wait, what's that? Yoshi's Story! Tiberius closed the book but Baby Bowser performed a dance. Tiberius danced too, with a Stegosaurus and a T-Rex wearing schoolgirl clothing. A dino dance that was remembered as the Wii-U at the E3 Nintendo Press Conference. However, SSB4 was nowhere to be found because Sakurai was busy smelting sauteed smelt. The science behind superconductivity was confusing and unrelated to anything so: SUBJECT SHIFT! This story is still about Tiberius Thiberiuskiller, who currently has a beard. His chest hair smells like Nevada. But we digress. Or do we? Yes, we do. Kind of. Anyway, something amazing happened involving collective effervescence: Tiberius ate slivers. The sliver merchants made a killing and celebrated it with Four Loco, but all of China got angry and became bees. The mods modded GrapefruitKing's post (411). Why would they do that before the story finished? Because mods hate you and your Tiberius Beekiller tails, and like to destroy your funtime. Also, they are cooking french toast for their anuses. But the Frenchmen decided to attack all anuses everywhere killing the topic. But it failed! Who will archive the topic? Someone like NGamer will never archive it. But the bees are quite magnaminimous. Oh the magnanimity. Why can't they archive the topic? Because bees are bee-ing jerks. So shove'm down your urethra and sing songs of yester-year AUGHH!!! THE BEES! I can't stand any more bees. Not there, anyway. What's the deal with airline food? Jerry Seinfeld lived. All was well.